Lexicon Sources
The Daily Prophet
"Muggles Not As Stupid As We Think, Says Ministry Report"
-- headline of the
Daily Prophet
In the late 1990s,
Bloomsbury
created an Official Harry Potter Fan Club and invited folks from
Britain
to join. There was no United States chapter of the club. One of the
perks for joining the Club was several issues of
The Daily Prophet, a three-page newsletter detailing the goings-on in
the wizarding world. Each of these
newsletters bore the notice © J. K. Rowling and according to
Bloomsbury
(email dated 2 June 2004) was written by her.
The newsletters were clearly written early in Rowling's creation of the
Harry Potter mythos. Some terms are different and a few facts just don't
jibe with the established story of the books. Overall, however, the news
bits and sports reports fit right into the "look and feel" of the
Rowling's world. The names and the events bear the marks of humor and parody
which all of Rowling's writing shows. The names of some minor characters,
for example Gwenog Jones,
are found in the newsletters and turned up eventually in
Famous Wizard cards and in the
Schoolbooks. The dates on each issue are
the dates of the club; they don't fit into the timeline of the series which
was not established very well at that point.
Synopsis of each issue:
(special thanks to Trish Drasnin)
July 31, 1998 The Daily Prophet
Price: 7 Knuts
The date is that of the actual publication of this newsletter
and does not correspond with the dates of the stories.
Page 1 - Headlines:
MUGGLES NOT AS STUPID AS WE THINK, SAYS MINISTRY REPORT
Report tells that Muggles notice things like "crop circles," which
are really entries in the
Annual International Wizard Gardening Competition's
contorting cereals division, and UFOs, which are really escaped
Quaffles. It
mentions the fact that
Hagrid has offered the
Hogwarts Lake
for relocating the Loch Ness Monster.
FAULTY WANDS RECALLED
A warning from the "Department of Magical Equipment Control" about a shady
street peddler in Diagon Alley named "Honest Willy Wagstaff." That department
doesn't exist as we now know the Ministry to be organized, but at the time
this was written Rowling hadn't finalized the makeup of the Ministry, as
evidenced by similar non-existent departments mentioned in books 1-3.
Advertisement:
Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions - Summer Sale on Now
Page 2 - Sport
Quidditch League Table and Match Information
The Tornados lead the League and the
Cannons are at
the bottom. Upcoming matches and locations are announced.
CANNONS GO DOWN IN A SHOWER OF ARROWS
Discussion of
Chudley's defeat
by Appleby, with
mention of Galvin Gudgeon's pathetic performance as Seeker for the
Cannons.
MAGPIE CHASER "ONLY TRIED FOOTBALL FOR A LAUGH"
In this first of a series of articles over the course of the
Daily Prophets, we learn that
Alasdair Maddock,
Chaser for the Magpies, is becoming inordinately fond of Muggle sport.
A couple of small news bits reveal that
Puddlemere United
will be changing the color of their robes to blue and that no one dares
disagree with
Gwenog Jones,
the brilliant but dangerous Captain and
Beater of the all-witch
Holyhead Harpies.
The color change of the robes presents a bit of a problem for canon, since
the new blue color (blue) would have come into use before the edition of
Quidditch Through the Ages was released which we have in Muggle form.
page 3 - Letters Page
Letter with the following headings:
Star Letter from
Ethelbald Mordaunt about the
misconduct of his neighbor, who bewitches his garden furniture
"Gripe with Gringotts Bank" about their use of Sphinxes as guards
"Gobstones Tournament Overlooked," a complaint that the Prophet
doesn't cover Gobstones events enough
"A Word in Support of Hags," sent in by a Hag
who tries to sound homey and cheerful but offers babysitting services
"Merlin Remembrance Day Suggestion," which is clearly an attempt to create a
new holiday just for the day off work
Feb 8th 1999 The Daily Prophet
Price: 7 Knuts
Page 1 - Headlines
ENQUIRY AT THE IMPROPER USE OF MAGIC OFFICE -
disappearance of a Muggle "tube train" leads to the suspension of a Ministry
of Magic employee.
[Cornelius Fudge is incidentally
revealed as a gobstones fan.] The Daily Prophet reporter (unnamed) reveals
that the offender is the Minister's nephew, Rufus Fudge, who did it for a
bet. The Muggles did not notice that the train had gone missing.
CELESTINA WARBECK CONCERT CAUSES BROOM SMASH OVER LIVERPOOL -
a three-broom crash over the River Mersey of late ticket holders
for the concert.
TROLL RIGHTS MOVEMENT OUT OF CONTROL - anti-troll
meeting invaded by Troll Rights activists. Careless club swinging
by the trolls knocks out their own spokeswitch.
Separate box contains a reference to an editorial on page 11 (not included)
entitled "WHY THE JOKE'S ON THE MINISTRY, NOT THE MUGGLES".
Page 2 - Classified Advertisements
JOBS
"Hit-witch or wizard" for the Magical Law Enforcement Squad
Assistant Manager at Flourish & Blotts
Junior Potions Mixer at Madam Primpernelle's salon
Dragon Feeders for Gringotts Bank
Office Worker for the
Society for the Tolerance of Vampires
FOR SALE
Broomstick, Shooting Star
Broomstick, Silver Arrow
Secondhand cauldrons
Chudley Cannon
memorabilia - fan making "clean break"
Collected works of Gilderoy Lockhart
Hothouse herbs - bouquets of henbane and belladonna, potted mandrakes
Muggle "batteries" collection - being sold by A. Weasley
Muggle Guards -
device shrieks when touched by a Muggle
Secondhand Quidditch balls
LONELY HEARTS
Shy sorcerer seeks wicked witch
Warlock into Transfiguration seeks like-minded witch
Quiet witch seeks non-bat owning wizard
Crazy sorceress seeks wacky wizard
BIRTHS
DEATHS
Advertisement:
Transfiguration Today
magazine
Page 3 - Sports
Quidditch League Table & Match Information
Forthcoming matches listed are:
Headlines:
"BATS SURVIVE THE TORNADOS" - surprise
Ballycastle Bats
win over former league leaders
Tutshill Tornados.
"Maddock blamed for Kestrels win" - Montrose Magpie's Chaser,
Alasdair Maddock, lost the game against
Kenmare Kestrels
because he tried again using techniques from Muggle
football during
the match.
"Chaos Reigns on Exmoor for Falcons & Pride of Portree" -
Ministry's invisibility spell on stadium leads to confusion
as no one can see the pitch or the opposing team.
"Wilda wallops the Wigs" - Chaser Wilda Griffiths,
poached from the
Holyhead Harpies,
wins game against
Wigtown Wanderers
for new team
Puddlemere United.
"Cannons Didn't Lose Shock" - Chudley Cannons
draw their game against
Caerphilly Catapults,
breaking a 16-game losing streak.
June 1st, 1999 The Daily Prophet
Price: 7 Knuts
Page 1 - Headlines
GOBLIN RIOTS ERUPT IN
CHIPPING CLODBURY -
B.O.G.
(Brotherhood of Goblins)
supporters ran riot during a meeting with representatives from the
Department for the
Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.
The goblins used illegal wands for transfiguration and called for the release
of activist Hodrod
the Horny-Handed. Goblin-wizard
relations are reported to be at an all time low.
Advertisement: "TerrorTours - action holidays for the wizard family
with a sense of adventure" - features castles to rent in
Transylvania, Zombie trails and cruises in the Bermuda Triangle.
Pages 2 & 3 - Letters [marked as page 12] PROBLEM PAGE
Letters:
HOW MUCH REVENGE IS SAFE? - reader want to transfigure
brother's children after receiving cursed
broomstick.
MAKING IT STICK - problems with a
Fixing Charm.
I'M TURNING PURPLE - colourful and alarming symptoms explained.
HE SAYS HE HATES ME - witch wants to use
Love Potion.
Page 4 - Sports
Quidditch League Table & Match Information
Forthcoming matches listed are:
Headlines:
Oct 1st, 1999 The Daily Prophet
Price: 7 Knuts
Page 1 - Headlines
MINISTRY IMPOSES RESTRICTIONS - plans to restrict
Hallowe'en celebrations, the one time of year wizards can be "out and about"
without arousing the suspicions of Muggles, were announced by
Minister for Magic
Cornelius Fudge.
Celestina Warbeck,
the singing sorceress, and others interviewed protest the decision. Dangerous
Hallowe'en incidents involve exploding pumpkins and broom accidents, leading
to busy wards at
St Mungo's Hospital.
NEW POTION GIVES HOPE FOR
HAGS -
potion that reduces the appetite for human flesh in
hags has been developed by
Professor Regulus Moonshine.
Advertisement: "Poor memory? ...."
Mnemosyne
Clinic for Memory Modification
promises to restore memory to "natural range" with
a simple charm.
Page 2 - Sports
Quidditch League Table & Match Information
Forthcoming matches listed are:
Headlines:
- PUDDLEMERE CHASER VANISHES AMID CHAOS AT HOLYHEAD MATCH -
Ministry fears of violence at the match between traditional rivals
Holyhead Harpies and
Puddlemere United
were realised when former Harpy, Chaser
Wilda Griffiths, disappeared
midway during the match. Many
Puddlemere and
Holyhead
supporters had handed in "dummy" wands at the gates and used their real wands
during the ensuing riot.
Holyhead team
captain Gwenog Jones is said to be "helping the Ministry with its enquiries".
[N.B. if you are "helping the police with their enquiries" it means you
are being held in custody while they gather enough evidence to charge you.]
- CANNONS BLAST
THE FALCONS -
shock of another
Chudley Cannons
win causes the collapse of their manager
Ragmar Dorkins.
Advertisement:
"Buy your Second-Hand Brooms at SPLINTER & KREEK'S"
Pages 3&4 - Crossword
"Fiendishly Difficult Crossword", clues and answers
Clues include:
- 42 Across - The colour of the
Quaffle (3)
- 49 Down - Your worst nightmare as a
Bertie Bott bean flavour (3)
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